Posts

This Pinned Post Replaces the Last Pinned Post

Image
      I swear Eminem wrote a song with the lyrics: I don't want to say I'm back or nothin' because that implies I'm back from somethin'     But alas, I can not find it. So maybe I've been Mandela'd into an alternate dimension or got neuralyzed because I know my imagination can't write worthwhile lyrics. I can hear the line so clear in my head. Which is a shame because those lines are exactly how I feel right now. Now, instead of posting a song I have to write a whole post, ugh.     Anyway, the primary point of this post is to officially end the hiatus but also to lower expectations, I am still very busy and I absolutely can not continue reviewing Sven maps at the same speed I did when I first started. One map a week, maybe, is what I expect to happen.      Sike, this is secretly a post about how I have accomplished my mission and from now on I will bask in victory, deigning to review a map only if the mood strikes me. I may have mentione...

Dojo - Dunkelschwamm

Image
       Appear in Dojo. Enemies rain from above. Hit them with your sword. SCMapDB page Authors: PU_1338 Date of release: 2007 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Dojo (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | April 26, 2026 | 2218 characters      Dojo is a really cute wave survival map. Players must use their swords (crowbars) to fight against ninjas (unarmed Male Assassins) for five waves to defend the dojo.      The map is very simple. There's no button to start the map, just a wave starting after an arbitrary amount of time. The map itself is a ring around a building with doors straight through it. Enemies are launched into the arena from above the outer walls. Their health is so low the crowbar gibs them. The only dynamic element is that after a few waves it adds Female Assassins (guns and grenades and everything) to the mix.      Then, at the end, it sends four VERY beefy melee samurai at the players. We wer...

Dojo - GrandmasterJ

Image
       Appear in Dojo. Enemies rain from above. Hit them with your sword. SCMapDB page Authors: PU_1338 Date of release: 2007 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Dojo (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | April 26, 2026 | 1431 characters      Dojo is a short and sweet map about fighting off waves of assassins with only a crowbar retextured to be a katana. It's got some fun Kill Bill sounds and some cool samurai custom models at the end.      The enemies do have a lot of health, so the fight itself is a little bit of a slog, but we all get long jumps to start with so it is very easy to end up standing on top of the enemies and hitting down, usually gibbing them in the process. It is very fun. But also there are a lot of times when we spawn, swing about three times, and then die. It has its frustrating moments.      I think the real strength of the map is how much action it fits in a small package. If you want a shor...

Dreamstairs - Dunkelschwamm

Image
       "You hit your head and now you are dreaming" of some blocky stairs covered in respawning enemies. This map really embodies early Sven Co-op, where things appear to be optimized for a rush of people. SCMapDB page Authors: JJ45 aka Aurora Date of release: 2003 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Dreamstairs (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | April 26, 2026 | 2576 characters      Dreamstairs is walkthrough map in which the players ascend a spiral staircase surrounded by death drop and filled with respawning enemies. All progress made is immediately met with enemies reappearing to wreak vengeance on your buttocks. The story implies that the scenario is a hallucinatory manifestation from head trauma, and I think it succeeds as a headache simulator.      The visuals are dirt simple, to an almost respectable degree. The only real flourish to the grey concrete staircase is layers of semitranslucent grey planes which create a m...

Dreamstairs - GrandmasterJ

Image
      "You hit your head and now you are dreaming" of some blocky stairs covered in respawning enemies. This map really embodies early Sven Co-op, where things appear to be optimized for a rush of people. SCMapDB page Authors: JJ45 aka Aurora Date of release: 2003 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Dreamstairs (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | April 26, 2026 | 2805 characters      You hit your head and now you're in a dream … . where you climb stairs covered in respawning enemies.      My first reaction to this map was pretty negative. We start off on stairs and we climb upward, with full armor which really does help our survival, until we fight globs of enemies. Each enemy has a ton of health so its slow going and each enemy respawns so when we clear out a patch and move forward we sometimes have to deal with enemies behind us, putting us in and endless loop of being pincered.      But my teammate suggested just r...

The Hotel - Dunkelschwamm

Image
       Welcome to The Hotel, not to be confused with Hotel, a horror adventure set in a single building. It's a simple map with a couple of surprises, some good and some bad.  SCMapDB page Authors: W00tguy123 Date of release: 2007 Maps in package: 1 Map review of The Hotel (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | April 25, 2026 | 3391 characters      The Hotel is an odd little half-finished thing that chooses the oddest places to impress. While the overall premise is slapped together and roughly as functional as somebody's second-ever map, random details are given a level of attention and show expertise that I ooh'd and ahh'd at.      The map takes place in a massive hotel building with several floors. Some of these floors contain halls of rooms, some contain setpieces, some contain nothing at all and were clearly left unfinished. The floors of rooms are generally pretty decent, with ambient zombie ghosts milling around cau...

The Hotel - GrandmasterJ

Image
      Welcome to The Hotel, not to be confused with Hotel, a horror adventure set in a single building. It's a simple map with a couple of surprises, some good and some bad.  SCMapDB page Authors: W00tguy123 Date of release: 2007 Maps in package: 1 Map review of The Hotel (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | April 25, 2026 | 3594 characters      A horror map from 2007, 19 years ago, I did not have high expectations going in. But the map starts on a cutscene, a car drives in and the wheels are actually spinning! It takes a turn and … is it leaning into the curves? Did the map author model suspension in 2007????      This map knows how to set atmosphere and create a scene. The opening cutscene instantly draws me in and we get a really nicely made cutscene every time we accomplish an objective. This did kill me a lot, as I was running from zombies as my teammates soldiered on. There are creepy ambient sounds, custom zombie model...

Nuclear Power Plant - Dunkelschwamm

Image
       Welcome to the Nuclear Power Plant, a short mod for the original Half-Life from the ancient year of 1999 ported to Sven Co-op in the modern age. As the name implies, it is a nuclear power plant, and since this is a shooting game, we get to fight in the power plant. SCMapDB page Original map author: Alexei Frolov Conversion author: Reuniclus-579 Date of original mod release: 1999 Date of final Sven Map release: 2026 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Nuclear Power Plant (originally posted on SCMapDB)  by dunkelschwamm | April 25, 2026 | 2018 characters      Nuclear Power Plant is a simple walkthrough map with a bit of platforming, a bit of vent scouring, and a bit of firefighting.      There's lots of fun bits, like shutting off an electric coil before climbing up it like a ladder, or a caged HEV suit that we used to gib a local Barney and grab a gun before it should have been possible. There's a bit where a spinning piece of ma...

Nuclear Power Plant - GrandmasterJ

Image
      Welcome to the Nuclear Power Plant, a short mod for the original Half-Life from the ancient year of 1999 ported to Sven Co-op in the modern age. As the name implies, it is a nuclear power plant, and since this is a shooting game, we get to fight in the power plant. SCMapDB page Original map author: Alexei Frolov Conversion author: Reuniclus-579 Date of original mod release: 1999 Date of final Sven Map release: 2026 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Nuclear Power Plant (originally posted on SCMapDB)  by GrandmasterJ | April 25, 2026 | 2898 characters      The starting area of the map is a room with a barney and two HEV suits in weird spiky cages. There are two buttons, one opens the cage for the HEV suit on the right and the other button seems nonfunctional, I could not open the cage on the left. Anyway, we opened the cage on the right, lured in the barney, closed the cage, and I think that alone is going to boost the score for this map.  ...

Battle of Albulena - Dunkelschwamm

Image
       Do you like history? Do you like Albania? Then you might like this map, a recreation of a famous (to Albanians maybe) battle from history! Defend the fortress from . . . cockroaches? SCMapDB page Authors: Grunt Date of release: 2024 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Battle of Albulena (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | April 19, 2026 | 2727 characters      What a map.      So, on a superficial level, we're fighting a bunch of low-health roaches with a wrench (and subsequently, a flamethrower) to keep them from breaking through a gate. There're some great features: the flamethrower is a scripted weapon, there is a health bar prominently displayed above the gate (though that makes it hard to see from a near defensive position), and a counter in the corner of the screen tracks how many roaches we must defend from.      The roaches are fun to smash and roast, and there's enough to keep it tense. My buddy a...

Battle of Albulena - GrandmasterJ

Image
      Do you like history? Do you like Albania? Then you might like this map, a recreation of a famous (to Albanians maybe) battle from history! Defend the fortress from . . . cockroaches? SCMapDB page Authors: Grunt Date of release: 2024 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Battle of Albulena (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | April 19, 2026 | 2013 characters      So here I am browsing random maps when I see a map that looks kind of interesting. It's got a thumbnail with some historical art and we get a blurb about Albanians defending against Ottomans in a historical recreation, seems cool. But uh, the other screenshots looks like we're burning roaches with flamethrowers… . I install the map and the .wad is called turkroaches, uh ooh.      Then we start the map and the roaches are called turkroaches straight up in the map itself. I feel the need to say that I do not condone racism in any form and this map definitely felt off becaus...

Host_Error - Dunkelschwamm

Image
       Clearly inspired by the popular backrooms horror trope, players must navigate a shifting maze and run from a chase monster before doing something or other that may or may not beat the map.  SCMapDB page Authors: Grunt Date of release: 2025 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Host_Error (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | April 19, 2026 | 2258 characters      This is a neat little scripting showcase based on the backrooms phenomenon. You and your friends can run around in a backrooms area being chased by a teleporting black gargoyle who sometimes kills you, sometimes is just cheeky. There are some hints about how if you don't run the space will be less hostile, but I didn't find any kind of behavior did much to change how often the black gargoyle would appear and attack.      After meandering around with my buddy until we were both picked off by the monster one-by-one, we tried again with cheats to see if we could f...

Host_Error - GrandmasterJ

Image
      Clearly inspired by the popular backrooms horror trope, players must navigate a shifting maze and run from a chase monster before doing something or other that may or may not beat the map.  SCMapDB page Authors: Grunt Date of release: 2025 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Host_Error (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | April 19, 2026 | 3000 characters      I want to be up front, we cheated to play this map. Players are dumped into a backrooms flavored maze and a gargoyle hunts the players. We kept wandering around and the gargoyle would appear and gibs one of us and the lights would turn on and off until eventually we get some sort of gibberish message. Then the next time my partner dies randomly she is put in observer mode and that happens to me soon after.      The map is ok I guess, I'm not a fan of mazes and I was suspicious that this map changed layouts, which was confirmed when I noclipped around later and found m...

Icon of Helll -Dunkelschwamm

Image
       I'm starting to think the third L in the title is a typo. Icon of Hell(l?) is a conversion of a mod with a lot of futuristic and archaic visuals all thrown together in an interesting linear experience. It's also got custom models and scripted weapons which really help sell that this is as a new experience. SCMapDB page Original map author: Lefront Conversion author: Reuniclus-579 Date of original mod release: 2013 Date of final Sven Map release: 2024 Maps in package: 7 Map review of Icon of Helll (originally posted on SCMapDB)  by dunkelschwamm | March 29, 2026 | 3901 characters      Icon of Helll is a very inspired spooky mapset converted expertly by Reuniclus-579. There are lots of recognizable assets (and even some map setpieces and layouts) from games like Doom 3 and Duke Nukem 3D. You'll notice more than anything, though, the really nicely scripted weapons and enemies borrowing heavily from Cry of Fear. While lots is repurposed assets,...

Icon of Helll - GrandmasterJ

Image
     I'm starting to think the third L in the title is a typo. Icon of Hell(l?) is a conversion of a mod with a lot of futuristic and archaic visuals all thrown together in an interesting linear experience. It's also got custom models and scripted weapons which really help sell that this is as a new experience. SCMapDB page Original map author: Lefront Conversion author: Reuniclus-579 Date of original mod release: 2013 Date of final Sven Map release: 2024 Maps in package: 7 Map review of Icon of Helll (originally posted on SCMapDB)  by GrandmasterJ | April 29, 2026 | 4593 characters      Let's start with an obligatory 'I have not played the original mod' for this conversion so I don't know how the original plays. There are a few areas where a checkpoint would not have been unnoticed and some places where it seems players are expected to just die. But beyond those points this is a very competently done conversion.      The first thing tha...

The Absolute State of this Blog

Image
   I'm a big fan of Sven Co-op, so much so that I was only half joking when I presented the terrible idea of playing and reviewing every map to my partner in crime, Dunkelschwamm. Much to my surprise she agreed and now here we are, 371 maps in to the 1558 maps currently on the Sven Co-op map database . It was done primarily to get people to stop leaving reviews in the comments and to actually put them in the review section. Let me just check the reviews on the map database. . . . yeah, I think it sort of worked. Then we got nervous that wikidot might die and take the site with it so I created this blog as a mirror.      Dunkel was unemployed at the time and my fiancé still had tons of patience for me so it went swimmingly, I think we averaged something like 15 reviews a week. I did the math but circumstances keep changing and so do the numbers, so that's a very rough estimate. We both dabbled in making maps for Sven long ago when the game was relevant and popula...

Ck Osprey - Dunkelschwamm

Image
       A fairly standard horde map with an Osprey, not the monster that drops off endless supplies of soldiers but a big driveable func_vehicle Osprey. Fly around the battlefield and shoot soldiers. SCMapDB page Authors: CkDead Date of release: ???? Maps in package: 1 Map review of Ck Osprey (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | January 7, 2024 | 2683 characters      CK Osprey is a horde map wherein you face many respawning HECU grunts in a desert arena segmented by big rock formations. Players spawn in a partitioned helipad in the corner of the map, where they can drive and ride an osprey over the desert arena. Alternatively, players can enter a garage to drive a truck around to attack from. Alternatively alternatively, players can climb up onto overlooking towers to fire down on the respawning enemies. This continues endlessly until either the map's time runs out or somebody votemaps.      This mostly works out, especially ...

Ck Osprey - GrandmasterJ

Image
      A fairly standard horde map with an Osprey, not the monster that drops off endless supplies of soldiers but a big driveable func_vehicle Osprey. Fly around the battlefield and shoot soldiers. SCMapDB page Authors: CkDead Date of release: ???? Maps in package: 1 Map review of Ck Osprey (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | January 7, 2024 | 1797 characters      This is a fairly simple horde map, players get a little fortress with plenty of supplies and a big drivable Osprey we can use to fly over a battlefield of infinite human grunts. There is a sentry gun that overlooks spawn and it will absolutely shoot players the moment they appear, but there's only one and it had a reasonable amount of health. Underbarrel grenades with M16s, crossbows, grenades, and an mp5 lay on the ground to help players kill the grunts. I much prefer the crossbow. There was also a turret on top of a tower but I didn't interact with it much.      The r...

Civil Defence - Dunkelschwamm

Image
       Kill a bunch of soldiers and aliens in some generic warehouses and offices somewhere in a red brick city. It's a pretty straightforward map that requires at least two people. SCMapDB page Authors: Daniel Plant Date of release: 2004 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Civil Defence (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | January 7, 2024 | 3588 characters      Civil Defence is a very simple sequence of gunfighting arenas in a warehouse district setting. Players fight their way out of a building by escaping along its fire escape, then through the district, before moving through a sewers area to the final battle. The first third of the map sees players fighting blackops grunts and assassins, before things take a sudden shift and see the players fighting an odd combination of vortigaunts, gonomes, and shock troopers (with a few itchyosaurs, and eventually a voltigore, thrown into the mix).      The battles in this are intense. W...

Civil Defence - GrandmasterJ

Image
      Kill a bunch of soldiers and aliens in some generic warehouses and offices somewhere in a red brick city. It's a pretty straightforward map that requires at least two people. SCMapDB page Authors: Daniel Plant Date of release: 2004 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Civil Defence (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | January 7, 2024 | 1418 characters      Players fight their way out of an high rise, onto the streets, through some sewers, then back onto the streets. It's soldiers at first but then suddenly aliens start to appear. Progressing in the map is rewarded with enemies spawning in already cleared out areas, so respawning is fun.      Combat sections typically consist of arenas or hallways that enemies can flood into. They don't have crazy high amounts of health and we can generally gun them down pretty fast, but when we have to fight male assassins with snipers and M16s with grenades it gets tricky. There is HEV scattere...