Posts

This Pinned Post Replaces the Last Pinned Post

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      I swear Eminem wrote a song with the lyrics: I don't want to say I'm back or nothin' because that implies I'm back from somethin'     But alas, I can not find it. So maybe I've been Mandela'd into an alternate dimension or got neuralyzed because I know my imagination can't write worthwhile lyrics. I can hear the line so clear in my head. Which is a shame because those lines are exactly how I feel right now. Now, instead of posting a song I have to write a whole post, ugh.     Anyway, the primary point of this post is to officially end the hiatus but also to lower expectations, I am still very busy and I absolutely can not continue reviewing Sven maps at the same speed I did when I first started. One map a week, maybe, is what I expect to happen.      Sike, this is secretly a post about how I have accomplished my mission and from now on I will bask in victory, deigning to review a map only if the mood strikes me. I may have mentione...

Battle of Albulena - Dunkelschwamm

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       Do you like history? Do you like Albania? Then you might like this map, a recreation of a famous (to Albanians maybe) battle from history! Defend the fortress from . . . cockroaches? SCMapDB page Authors: Grunt Date of release: 2024 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Battle of Albulena (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | April 19, 2026 | 2727 characters      What a map.      So, on a superficial level, we're fighting a bunch of low-health roaches with a wrench (and subsequently, a flamethrower) to keep them from breaking through a gate. There're some great features: the flamethrower is a scripted weapon, there is a health bar prominently displayed above the gate (though that makes it hard to see from a near defensive position), and a counter in the corner of the screen tracks how many roaches we must defend from.      The roaches are fun to smash and roast, and there's enough to keep it tense. My buddy a...

Battle of Albulena - GrandmasterJ

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      Do you like history? Do you like Albania? Then you might like this map, a recreation of a famous (to Albanians maybe) battle from history! Defend the fortress from . . . cockroaches? SCMapDB page Authors: Grunt Date of release: 2024 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Battle of Albulena (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | April 19, 2026 | 2013 characters      So here I am browsing random maps when I see a map that looks kind of interesting. It's got a thumbnail with some historical art and we get a blurb about Albanians defending against Ottomans in a historical recreation, seems cool. But uh, the other screenshots looks like we're burning roaches with flamethrowers… . I install the map and the .wad is called turkroaches, uh ooh.      Then we start the map and the roaches are called turkroaches straight up in the map itself. I feel the need to say that I do not condone racism in any form and this map definitely felt off becaus...

Host_Error - Dunkelschwamm

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       Clearly inspired by the popular backrooms horror trope, players must navigate a shifting maze and run from a chase monster before doing something or other that may or may not beat the map.  SCMapDB page Authors: Grunt Date of release: 2025 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Host_Error (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | April 19, 2026 | 2258 characters      This is a neat little scripting showcase based on the backrooms phenomenon. You and your friends can run around in a backrooms area being chased by a teleporting black gargoyle who sometimes kills you, sometimes is just cheeky. There are some hints about how if you don't run the space will be less hostile, but I didn't find any kind of behavior did much to change how often the black gargoyle would appear and attack.      After meandering around with my buddy until we were both picked off by the monster one-by-one, we tried again with cheats to see if we could f...

Host_Error - GrandmasterJ

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      Clearly inspired by the popular backrooms horror trope, players must navigate a shifting maze and run from a chase monster before doing something or other that may or may not beat the map.  SCMapDB page Authors: Grunt Date of release: 2025 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Host_Error (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | April 19, 2026 | 3000 characters      I want to be up front, we cheated to play this map. Players are dumped into a backrooms flavored maze and a gargoyle hunts the players. We kept wandering around and the gargoyle would appear and gibs one of us and the lights would turn on and off until eventually we get some sort of gibberish message. Then the next time my partner dies randomly she is put in observer mode and that happens to me soon after.      The map is ok I guess, I'm not a fan of mazes and I was suspicious that this map changed layouts, which was confirmed when I noclipped around later and found m...

Icon of Helll -Dunkelschwamm

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       I'm starting to think the third L in the title is a typo. Icon of Hell(l?) is a conversion of a mod with a lot of futuristic and archaic visuals all thrown together in an interesting linear experience. It's also got custom models and scripted weapons which really help sell that this is as a new experience. SCMapDB page Original map author: Lefront Conversion author: Reuniclus-579 Date of original mod release: 2013 Date of final Sven Map release: 2024 Maps in package: 7 Map review of Icon of Helll (originally posted on SCMapDB)  by dunkelschwamm | March 29, 2026 | 3901 characters      Icon of Helll is a very inspired spooky mapset converted expertly by Reuniclus-579. There are lots of recognizable assets (and even some map setpieces and layouts) from games like Doom 3 and Duke Nukem 3D. You'll notice more than anything, though, the really nicely scripted weapons and enemies borrowing heavily from Cry of Fear. While lots is repurposed assets,...

Icon of Helll - GrandmasterJ

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     I'm starting to think the third L in the title is a typo. Icon of Hell(l?) is a conversion of a mod with a lot of futuristic and archaic visuals all thrown together in an interesting linear experience. It's also got custom models and scripted weapons which really help sell that this is as a new experience. SCMapDB page Original map author: Lefront Conversion author: Reuniclus-579 Date of original mod release: 2013 Date of final Sven Map release: 2024 Maps in package: 7 Map review of Icon of Helll (originally posted on SCMapDB)  by GrandmasterJ | April 29, 2026 | 4593 characters      Let's start with an obligatory 'I have not played the original mod' for this conversion so I don't know how the original plays. There are a few areas where a checkpoint would not have been unnoticed and some places where it seems players are expected to just die. But beyond those points this is a very competently done conversion.      The first thing tha...

The Absolute State of this Blog

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   I'm a big fan of Sven Co-op, so much so that I was only half joking when I presented the terrible idea of playing and reviewing every map to my partner in crime, Dunkelschwamm. Much to my surprise she agreed and now here we are, 371 maps in to the 1558 maps currently on the Sven Co-op map database . It was done primarily to get people to stop leaving reviews in the comments and to actually put them in the review section. Let me just check the reviews on the map database. . . . yeah, I think it sort of worked. Then we got nervous that wikidot might die and take the site with it so I created this blog as a mirror.      Dunkel was unemployed at the time and my fiancé still had tons of patience for me so it went swimmingly, I think we averaged something like 15 reviews a week. I did the math but circumstances keep changing and so do the numbers, so that's a very rough estimate. We both dabbled in making maps for Sven long ago when the game was relevant and popula...

Ck Osprey - Dunkelschwamm

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       A fairly standard horde map with an Osprey, not the monster that drops off endless supplies of soldiers but a big driveable func_vehicle Osprey. Fly around the battlefield and shoot soldiers. SCMapDB page Authors: CkDead Date of release: ???? Maps in package: 1 Map review of Ck Osprey (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | January 7, 2024 | 2683 characters      CK Osprey is a horde map wherein you face many respawning HECU grunts in a desert arena segmented by big rock formations. Players spawn in a partitioned helipad in the corner of the map, where they can drive and ride an osprey over the desert arena. Alternatively, players can enter a garage to drive a truck around to attack from. Alternatively alternatively, players can climb up onto overlooking towers to fire down on the respawning enemies. This continues endlessly until either the map's time runs out or somebody votemaps.      This mostly works out, especially ...

Ck Osprey - GrandmasterJ

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      A fairly standard horde map with an Osprey, not the monster that drops off endless supplies of soldiers but a big driveable func_vehicle Osprey. Fly around the battlefield and shoot soldiers. SCMapDB page Authors: CkDead Date of release: ???? Maps in package: 1 Map review of Ck Osprey (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | January 7, 2024 | 1797 characters      This is a fairly simple horde map, players get a little fortress with plenty of supplies and a big drivable Osprey we can use to fly over a battlefield of infinite human grunts. There is a sentry gun that overlooks spawn and it will absolutely shoot players the moment they appear, but there's only one and it had a reasonable amount of health. Underbarrel grenades with M16s, crossbows, grenades, and an mp5 lay on the ground to help players kill the grunts. I much prefer the crossbow. There was also a turret on top of a tower but I didn't interact with it much.      The r...

Civil Defence - Dunkelschwamm

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       Kill a bunch of soldiers and aliens in some generic warehouses and offices somewhere in a red brick city. It's a pretty straightforward map that requires at least two people. SCMapDB page Authors: Daniel Plant Date of release: 2004 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Civil Defence (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | January 7, 2024 | 3588 characters      Civil Defence is a very simple sequence of gunfighting arenas in a warehouse district setting. Players fight their way out of a building by escaping along its fire escape, then through the district, before moving through a sewers area to the final battle. The first third of the map sees players fighting blackops grunts and assassins, before things take a sudden shift and see the players fighting an odd combination of vortigaunts, gonomes, and shock troopers (with a few itchyosaurs, and eventually a voltigore, thrown into the mix).      The battles in this are intense. W...

Civil Defence - GrandmasterJ

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      Kill a bunch of soldiers and aliens in some generic warehouses and offices somewhere in a red brick city. It's a pretty straightforward map that requires at least two people. SCMapDB page Authors: Daniel Plant Date of release: 2004 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Civil Defence (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | January 7, 2024 | 1418 characters      Players fight their way out of an high rise, onto the streets, through some sewers, then back onto the streets. It's soldiers at first but then suddenly aliens start to appear. Progressing in the map is rewarded with enemies spawning in already cleared out areas, so respawning is fun.      Combat sections typically consist of arenas or hallways that enemies can flood into. They don't have crazy high amounts of health and we can generally gun them down pretty fast, but when we have to fight male assassins with snipers and M16s with grenades it gets tricky. There is HEV scattere...

Dark Seekers - Dunkelschwamm

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       Inspired by 'I am Legend' players fight the eponymous Dark Seekers in an abandoned city. Solve puzzles, find a way to escape, and beware the large amounts of high health enemies! SCMapDB page Authors: Goanna Date of release: 2008 Maps in package: 2 Map review of Dark Seekers (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | January 7, 2024 | 4838 characters      Dark Seekers is a duo of horror maps based loosely on the I Am Legend scenario. In the first map you search buildings to find necessary items to solve puzzles while being harassed by the titular dark seekers- zombies which run and take quite a bit of damage to kill. The second map takes the players through a dark seeker infested subway tunnel, until they surface into a warzone where hostile soldiers battle dark seekers in the streets. Both maps are very different in gameplay tone, but manage to feel appropriate together in atmosphere and theme.      The first map is slow i...

Dark Seekers - GrandmasterJ

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      Inspired by 'I am Legend' players fight the eponymous Dark Seekers in an abandoned city. Solve puzzles, find a way to escape, and beware the large amounts of high health enemies! SCMapDB page Authors: Goanna Date of release: 2008 Maps in package: 2 Map review of Dark Seekers (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | January 7, 2024 | 3574 characters      The short version is that we fight a bunch of fast zombies in spooky derelict city and subway levels. The eponymous Dark Seekers are inspired by the vampire things in I Am Legend and they definitely do resemble the things I saw in the movie, bald, pale, and fast. A big list of objectives is at the start of each map and it is immensely helpful as both maps are pretty big and it can be a pain figuring out where to go.      We start off in a city and on our first steps forward we find the dark seekers, all sitting on the ground and as one they turn their heads and rise to their feet...

Sveney Christmas - Dunkelschwamm

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        There are not a whole lot of options for Christmas themed Sven maps. Step into the shoes of Santa and drop presents (grenades) down the chimneys of the good children. SCMapDB page Authors: CubicVirtuoso Date of release: 2007 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Sveney Christmas (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | December 17, 2023 | 1918 characters      For a map made in two hours, this is a pretty complete idea. Players take grenades, fly around on a sleigh with train controls, and chuck the nades into 8 chimneys to complete the sequence. Each chimney is fairly easy to hit if you pull the sleigh up nice and close and take a couple throws to adjust aim. If you miss a bunch, don't worry, you can just fly your sleigh back to the cloud where you picked up your grenades.      The map has an effective aesthetic. The sleigh looks good, the cloud platform is perfectly functional, I think the street lamps on the cloud highlight...

Sveney Christmas - GrandmasterJ

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      There are not a whole lot of options for Christmas themed Sven maps. Step into the shoes of Santa and drop presents (grenades) down the chimneys of the good children. SCMapDB page Authors: CubicVirtuoso Date of release: 2007 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Sveney Christmas (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | December 17, 2023 | 1642 characters      Well it's that time of year again, at least it was when I wrote this, and that means it's time for Christmas. This fun holiday map has us riding around in Saint Nick's little cart thing and delivering presents to the children, and by that I mean grenades. The map description says it was made in only two hours and the result is a very short and fun map.      When we were almost at the end of blowing these poor children to kingdom come my teammate suddenly realized that we weren't getting any score for this, I feel like that would have been a big improvement and give the map more ...

The Tomb of Death - Dunkelschwamm

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       Welcome to the Tomb of Death, where you will die a lot. The map has a heavy emphasis on traps and each trap is a unique delight, which is not usually how trap themed Sven maps usually feel. SCMapDB page Authors: generic Date of release: 2008 Maps in package: 6 Map review of The Tomb of Death (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | December 16, 2023 | 6784 characters      Tomb of Death! I remember playing this a long time ago and thinking it was kind of clunky and mediocre. Boy, am I glad I revisited it! This mapset captures a lot of the spirit of what I love about Sven Co-op, and is a truly inspiring exercise in creativity.      This mapset is long, so I'm going to go down the maps one by one and give overall impressions.      The first map gives a lot of what the title implies: a tomb full of fun traps and monster teases. There's a couple puzzle-like areas, including a platforming bit over some toxic sand...

The Tomb of Death - GrandmasterJ

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      Welcome to the Tomb of Death, where you will die a lot. The map has a heavy emphasis on traps and each trap is a unique delight, which is not usually how trap themed Sven maps usually feel. SCMapDB page Authors: generic Date of release: 2008 Maps in package: 6 Map review of The Tomb of Death (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | December 16, 2023 | 5082 characters      The Tomb of Death is a very fun and cheeky map where players go through lots and lots of hallways. We get a token story attached and told through the messages of the day, there are six maps by the way. We encounter some really faint beams of light that trigger traps and at first we were doing our best to avoid them, but then we hit a point where we see a trap that has already been sprung and we try springing a trap ourselves. The vast majority of traps are one time only, we get to see a brick in the wall dissolve and then projectiles fly out and get stuck in the wall. It is r...

City Rush - Dunkelschwamm

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      Drop into a blocky city and start killing hordes of monsters. Eventually through some arcane invocations (breaking the right stuff) the enemies will cease to appear. SCMapDB page Authors: Agent Zero the Koraa Hunter Date of release: 2018 Maps in package: 1 Map review of City Rush (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | October 16, 2023 | 4583 characters      City Rush is a horde map set in a modestly mapped block town. Much of the map is spent wandering around wondering whether you're doing the right thing to make the map proceed.      You could say the map is broken up into two acts: the first is getting to know the map as it is desolate save for players. There are three buildings of interest at any given time: a building at the start with your starting weapons and a small table full of ammo (impossible to not be a greedy grabber here on more populated maps), an armory with extremely durable windows which must be shattered to...

City Rush - GrandmasterJ

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    Drop into a blocky city and start killing hordes of monsters. Eventually through some arcane invocations (breaking the right stuff) the enemies will cease to appear. SCMapDB page Authors: Agent Zero the Koraa Hunter Date of release: 2018 Maps in package: 1 Map review of City Rush (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | October 16, 2023 | 3543 characters      City Rush is a map that focuses heavily on a zombie horde, of the too-much-health variety. The map explicitly tells us to break a window and it takes a lot of damage and we were doubting what the map was telling us. But an early word of advice, keep hitting those windows. After that we faced a huge swarm of enemies that eventually petered out.      On map start my teammate and I ran in different directions, he tripped a cutscene that I had to watch and then shortly after I tripped a cutscene that he had to watch. I'm glad these scenes are over quickly and before zombies get here b...