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This Pinned Post Replaces the Last Pinned Post

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      I swear Eminem wrote a song with the lyrics: I don't want to say I'm back or nothin' because that implies I'm back from somethin'     But alas, I can not find it. So maybe I've been Mandela'd into an alternate dimension or got neuralyzed because I know my imagination can't write worthwhile lyrics. I can hear the line so clear in my head. Which is a shame because those lines are exactly how I feel right now. Now, instead of posting a song I have to write a whole post, ugh.     Anyway, the primary point of this post is to officially end the hiatus but also to lower expectations, I am still very busy and I absolutely can not continue reviewing Sven maps at the same speed I did when I first started. One map a week, maybe, is what I expect to happen.      Sike, this is secretly a post about how I have accomplished my mission and from now on I will bask in victory, deigning to review a map only if the mood strikes me. I may have mentione...

Fire Temple - Dunkelschwamm

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       Welcome to a Fire Temple inspired by the Legend of Zelda. There's lots of platforming here along with a maze, traps, secrets, and sometimes monsters.  SCMapDB page Author: Dr.Abc Date of release: 2014 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Fire Temple (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | May 25, 2026 | 4663 characters      A masterclass in how small decisions can make a charming, creative map into a patience grinder.      The fire temple features a series of puzzles and progression which would seemingly help the player become empowered over time. Since the player starts with literally nothing and has to work their way up to the first crowbar, it reminds me of a beginner dungeon in Zelda like the Deku Tree more than a later temple in terms of escalation.      There are some clever puzzles, like a maze which requires you look out for barely-visible tripwire-like kill barriers. There's a fun bit where you p...

Fire Temple - GrandmasterJ

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      Welcome to a Fire Temple inspired by the Legend of Zelda. There's lots of platforming here along with a maze, traps, secrets, and sometimes monsters.  SCMapDB page Author: Dr.Abc Date of release: 2014 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Fire Temple (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | May 25, 2026 | 4365 characters      The first thing I notice about this map is that there is Zelda music and sound effects, so this is a Legend of Zelda map. It's obvious in hindsight, but I didn't know that going in. There are some signs that have text on them I might have seen in the Zelda games and some weapons have replaced textures on them to more like weapons from Legend of Zelda. There is also Thor's hammer at one point, I don't know what is going on there.      The map is one big unfolding puzzle. We've got lots of platforming over pits of lava, a maze with instant-kill walls, big eyes we have to make blink, buttons to press, and enem...

Halo - Dunkelschwamm

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       This map is supposed to be Halo, it says right in the map description: You are Master Chief, A Cyborg who recently escaped the planet Halo. Aside from the incredible story this map is indistinguishable from a Black Mesa map. SCMapDB page Author: Matt *e**rm**er Date of release: 2003 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Halo (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | May 24, 2026 | 3913 characters      This map is ridiculous. Halo is a linear walkthrough map where players fight through an amalgamation of Black Mesa vignettes in space while rescuing HECU, G-Man, and Scientist. Open a door into a hallway full of vorts and agrunts, only to open the next door into a hallway full of… vorts and agrunts!      There are three aspects of this map worth talking about: the action, the mapping itself, and its adherence to the Halo theme. The action itself is pretty bad in, I think, a very honestly mistaken fashion. It tries to ambush the pl...

Halo - GrandmasterJ

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      This map is supposed to be Halo, it says right in the map description:  You are Master Chief, A Cyborg who recently escaped the planet Halo. Aside from the incredible story this map is indistinguishable from a Black Mesa map. SCMapDB page Author: Matt *e**rm**er Date of release: 2003 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Halo (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | May 24, 2026 | 2483 characters      So this is supposed to be a Halo map. I guess it can kind of look like Halo if you squint at the first room which is a Half-Life office with a window into space. Then from the supposed cockpit we travel forward, in front of the cockpit into more ship. At one point there is a train track tunnel with barriers blocking our way. There is also a tent. I mean if somebody is working with limited resources to make a conversion like turning Half-Life into Halo I don't expect perfection but this is nonsense. The ship makes no sense, just random Half-L...

Dread - Dunkelschwamm

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       Run around a Doom Themed complex, fight enemies, and collect weapons. Find the keys to open the path forward. Don't get lost! Allegedly made in a week. SCMapDB page Author: Aurora Date of release: 2014 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Dread (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | May 24, 2026 | 3527 characters      Dread is a classic shooter walkthrough map from the nonstop action to the confusing corridors. Collect keycards, fight enemies crawling out of respawners, and defeat a guest star from another game.      The first thing you'll notice is the wonderful atmosphere. The lighting and level geometry makes for a wonderful brutal set of concrete corridors and occasional skylights letting in rain. It's good that this map makes corridors beautiful, because I spend much of my time lost in them.      The description mentions something about multiple pathways, but a big portion of that is in a convolution of ...

Dread - GrandmasterJ

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      Run around a Doom Themed complex, fight enemies, and collect weapons. Find the keys to open the path forward. Don't get lost! Allegedly made in a week. SCMapDB page Author: Aurora Date of release: 2014 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Dread (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | May 24, 2026 | 3948 characters      This map feels like a doom multiplayer map given singleplayer features. This map is a conglomeration of hallways with monster spawners and smatterings of weapons off in the corners.      I spent a lot of time lost in this map, the map description says 'multiple paths' and I can attest to that. Ultimately the whole map is finding two keys, unlocking the boss arena, and then killing the boss. Finding the first key was easy enough but then I spent a lot of time walking in circles trying to figure out where to go next. My teammate didn't have this problem so whenever we died I would just follow. But then we died trying t...

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 - Dunkelschwamm

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       Gotta go fast, again! Another set of six areas players have to clear before dealing with the evil Dr. Eggman. This was merged with the first map by the community but is being reviewed separately.  SCMapDB page Author: iLLuSioN Date of release: 2008 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | May 9, 2026 | 3207 characters      Sonic the Hedgehog 2 is a follow-up to Sonic the Hedgehog. We played it through the merged maps available here. Much like the first map, it is a platforming/puzzle map. This time, a fair bit easier than the first to beat each zone. To find each chaos emerald, however, it's quite a challenge.      First of all, this time the platforming is far less reliant on propulsion springs. There are far more straight forward platforming puzzles, like a frogger-like, navigating atop spinning barrels, avoiding obstacles atop a moving platform, etc. I think fo...

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 - GrandmasterJ

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      Gotta go fast, again! Another set of six areas players have to clear before dealing with the evil Dr. Eggman. This was merged with the first map by the community but is being reviewed separately.  SCMapDB page Author: iLLuSioN Date of release: 2008 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | May 9, 2026 | 2002 characters      This map is very similar to the first one, with a central hub and some Sonic themed courses accessed by jumping through pictures on the wall. Right off the bat a big difference I see is a lot more details added. The second level is a burning version of the first, its really cool.      This map is extremely similar to the first map, with lots of platforming and special gimmicks per level. The is music for each stage and that's a very welcome addition. I remember thinking the lack of music beyond one short song was strange in the first map. So while it m...

Sonic the Hedgehog - Dunkelschwamm

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       Gotta go fast! Play through six stages inspired by the blue blur and find secret emeralds to defeat Dr. Eggman. Followed by a sequel that was merged into one map by the community. SCMapDB page Author: iLLuSioN Date of release: 2008 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Sonic the Hedgehog (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | May 9, 2026 | 3213 characters      Sonic the Hedgehog is a platforming map where players race through 6 stages, a bonus stage, and a boss battle with tricky traps and secret emeralds.      Graphics are largely taken from old Sonic games to create the blockiest South Island I have ever seen. Despite the primitive geometry, there's a real charm to each environment that basks in the simplicity of a much older 3D title. The simple graphics sometimes help, sometimes hinder (as is the case with the bonus level).      The puzzles range from simple and fun to hair-tuggingly frustrating. Some are ...

Sonic the Hedgehog - GrandmasterJ

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      Gotta go fast! Play through six stages inspired by the blue blur and find secret emeralds to defeat Dr. Eggman. Followed by a sequel that was merged into one map by the community. SCMapDB page Author: iLLuSioN Date of release: 2008 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Sonic the Hedgehog (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | May 9, 2026 | 2602 characters      When the map starts my teammate and I are in a room with a button that when pressed starts the map. We're dropped into a hallway that accelerates us towards the classic big red springs which bounce us straight up into the ceiling where we bounce back into the acceleration hallway. When we free ourselves we end up in a room with a big water feature and beyond are the entrances to the six different challenges. These springs aren't always janky, but the majority of the map relies on precision jumping and these big springs.      The challenges open up one at a time and within eac...

Infiltration - Dunkelschwamm

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       Here's a novel concept, stealth in Sven Co-op. Players are supposed to reach the end of the map without being seen. There isn't really a penalty for being seen. SCMapDB page Author: IceShaft Date of release: 2002 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Infiltration (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | May 9, 2026 | 1923 characters      Infiltration is a confusing map. It describes itself as one where you need to get in without being seen, but you spawn in the line of grunts' vision from windows in a building you must break the glass of to get inside (except you don't, because the grunts will most certainly break it first). My buddy and I used the crossbow at spawn with its respawning ammo to take everyone out. From there, you go down a series of pitch-black hallways fighting grunts and assassins and encountering way over-scaled furniture. After a hall that curves with a window in its side, the map ends.      I don't understa...

Infiltration - GrandmasterJ

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      Here's a novel concept, stealth in Sven Co-op. Players are supposed to reach the end of the map without being seen. There isn't really a penalty for being seen. SCMapDB page Author: IceShaft Date of release: 2002 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Infiltration (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | May 9, 2026 | 1264 characters      The map description says that we have to try to sneak to the exit and not be seen. When the map started and the message of the day popped up I was getting shot. So I don't know how anybody can be reasonably expected to play this map the 'correct' way.      There is a crossbow at spawn and I use it to blow up some soldiers before running out of ammo and dying. Then I ran through what felt like a straightforward hallways connected to rooms with some enemies in them. The map is really blocky and has bad proportions. Although I will say I did like the desks clearly built for giants but not so much the st...

Legend of Zelda - Dunkelschwamm

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       Hyrule is once again under attack by the evil Ganon! Fight classic Legend of Zelda and Half-Life enemies and find crystals in dungeons to beat Ganon and save the land once again! SCMapDB page Author: IceShaft Date of release: 2004 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Legend of Zelda (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | May 3, 2026 | 2692 characters      Legend of Zelda is a walkthrough map full of the jank gimmicks that I love to find in Sven Co-op. You spend most of the map with only a crowbar to defend yourself, so enemies like barnacles or vortigaunts wading in lava create devastating and frustrating hazards. Thankfully, the map keeps these interesting by making the major bulk of the map simple platforming puzzles and zombie-bludgeoning.      The whole map has an incredibly jank appearance to it. Outdoor areas are full of big unconvincing geometry, the lighting is mostly very flat and bright, and the custom models are ...

Legend of Zelda - GrandmasterJ

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      Hyrule is once again under attack by the evil Ganon! Fight classic Legend of Zelda and Half-Life enemies and find crystals in dungeons to beat Ganon and save the land once again! SCMapDB page Author: IceShaft Date of release: 2004 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Legend of Zelda (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | May 3, 2026 | 5160 characters      It's the Legend of Zelda in Sven Co-op! Explore such fabulous locales as Hyrule castle! A big serpent head I assume to be Jabu-Jabu! A mountain I will call Dodongo mountain! A Lost Forest made out of boxes! FInally, a trapped castle with what I am going to generously call Gannondorf!      One thing you may notice from the screenshots on the map page is that this map looks kind of bad. I think the little village we start off in looks decent but much of the brushwork is overly blocky and there are a lot of opportunities to climb up ledges and access places that don't look like they...

Keen's Solar System - Dunkelschwamm

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       This map is a scrap, an experiment, a proof of concept. And boy howdy does it prove the concept, as long as that concept is 'make a model of the solar system'. Nothing much else in the map. SCMapDB page Author: Keen Date of release: 2007 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Keen's Solar System (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | May 3, 2026 | 2116 characters      We start looking at the map's title over a little eye-candy rotating sprite effect. We run down a ramp toward the sprite and fall through the ground into a black void where the only things we can anchor ourselves to are the rotating planets in a massive diorama of the solar system.      I can't overstate that this introduction gave me a rollercoasteresque sense of disorientation and excitement as I took in the next thing the map had to offer: a glut of fun information.      The void is a big black room containing a large diorama, at the center of ...

Keen's Solar System - GrandmasterJ

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      This map is a scrap, an experiment, a proof of concept. And boy howdy does it prove the concept, as long as that concept is 'make a model of the solar system'. Nothing much else in the map. SCMapDB page Author: Keen Date of release: 2007 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Keen's Solar System (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | May 3, 2026 | 1763 characters      The map description says its a proof of concept and not really a playable experience. Well I decided to give it a whirl anyway with zero expectations and I was impressed.      Players start in a slanted room with an intangible floor at one end and players take fall damage when going to the next room. But that's a gameplay critique and this map is a proof of concept, so lets look at the main attraction. This map has a massive solar system revolving around a dark room, the planets are made of sprites and are two dimensional but it still looks really good. There is a larg...

Hotel - Dunkelschwamm

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       Not to be confused with THE Hotel, this map is an unfinished project meant to be a Sven Co-op map and a Half-Life: Deathmatch map. The map page seems to suggest it is almost finished but who knows. SCMapDB page Author: DennisG50 Date of release: 2005 Maps in package: 2 Map review of Hotel (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | May 3, 2026 | 3182 characters      Hotel is a very surreal deathmatch map converted into a Sven Co-op map (if I am understanding correctly from the description) that apparently isn't quite finished as of 20 years and some change ago.      The players start in what I at first thought were jail cells with buttons to open the doors. one of the four rooms has a door that opens very slowly for some reason. The doors open into a hallway which terminates at both ends in doors which open into a large lobby area. The lobby area has a big front desk that reminds me of the snack counter at a movie theater, a...

Hotel - GrandmasterJ

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      Not to be confused with THE Hotel, this map is an unfinished project meant to be a Sven Co-op map and a Half-Life: Deathmatch map. The map page seems to suggest it is almost finished but who knows. SCMapDB page Author: DennisG50 Date of release: 2005 Maps in package: 2 Map review of Hotel (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | May 3, 2026 | 2651 characters      No part of this map reminds me of a hotel. There are individual rooms with a couch and table in each one, but the grey textures and industrial doors operated by buttons evokes the idea of a prison. There are two maps included here and one is a deathmatch version of the map, except deathmatch is not enabled so it is a cooperative exploration of an arena.      The map has this abstract fever dream layout. In the regular(?) version of the map players start off in cells, I mean hotel rooms, and each one has a weapon and some ammo and a couple even have HEV batteries. One of...

Horror 1 - Dunkelschwamm

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           The map page has a story written out for us, plus a promise to deliver more maps in the same story at a later time. But it's been over two decades and this is all we have, a very short map. SCMapDB page Author: [Barney]_Mouge Date of release: 2000 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Horror 1 (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | May 2, 2026 | 3143 characters      Horror 1 is a very short outdoor zombie-shootin' map with some very cute brushwork and textures. There's meant to be a foreboding horror theme, and frankly whole map is just adorable.      Here's the progression: You start by your car, walk through a tunnel with a few headcrabs in it, walk through wilderness where zombie ghosts (I presume- they have the additive draw mode) ambush. The players pass by what looks like a church (which I thought was a very fun visual, even if a bit blocky and janky in places), and a stack of boxes with a key hoveri...

Horror 1 - GrandmasterJ

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           The map page has a story written out for us, plus a promise to deliver more maps in the same story at a later time. But it's been over two decades and this is all we have, a very short map. SCMapDB page Author: [Barney]_Mouge Date of release: 2000 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Horror 1 (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | May 2, 2026 | 1670 characters      This is a very short and cute map, It's over 25 years old at the time of writing this. It's endearing in its presentation but there really just isn't a whole lot here.      Players start off at the bottom of a road so slanted I see no possible way any car can drive up it. We go through a hallway, take a few turns, pick up a key on a stack of boxes, and find a fork in the road near a cemetery. Going right take sus back to spawn, unlocking a shortcut with a fun explosive plunger. Going left leads to a locked gate we use the key to open and the map ends...