Posts

Showing posts with the label 1/10

Between Two Worlds - GrandmasterJ

Image
      Between Two Worlds is a Half-Life 1 mod that, as best I can tell, was released in 1999. What we have on the Sven Co-op map database is the first three levels just dropped right into the map folder with zero work done on converting it to actually work. It's playable at the very least. SCMapDB page Author:Andreas Bauer Date of release:1999 Maps in package: 3 Map review of Between Two Worlds (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | February 16, 2023 | 4758 characters      From what I can gather, this is an unfinished mod for Half-Life that got dropped into Sven Co-op wholesale with zero modification to adjust it for cooperative multiplayer. What we get off the map database is the first three maps of a mod that really isn't all that good.      We start off in a glass dome with a scientist walking over to a button. He presses the button and I guess that button just sets off resonance cascades because that's what happened. My teammate broke out of the glass a

Break the Glass - Dunkelschwamm

Image
    I'll give you ten guesses as to what this map is about. After breaking the progressively stronger glass panes a scientist and his two friends is revealed. SCMapDB page Author: Shinkichi Date of final release: 2009 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Break The Glass (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | October 27, 2022 | 1941 characters      Break The Glass is a map for Sven Co-op. Several panes of glass stand parallel to one another, completely from one side of a large room to the other, obstructing the player's progression forward. The player must break through each using crowbars to proceed. Does it work?      I'd say maybe with a bunch of players it would. The players move from one end of the room to the other breaking the glass, which takes a while to break each pane, until they get to a scientist, a barney, and an otis. Bashing the brains out of the scientist immediately ends the map. The guards are inconsequential, and will only fire if the players act h

Punk Secret Place - GrandmasterJ

Image
      I don't really know what secrets I was supposed to find, but this map can sure be a place. Hallways, doors that aren't doors but breakable walls instead, and some other random stuff can all be found here. SCMapDB page Author: Robootto Date of final release: 2003 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Punk Secret Place (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | July 28, 2022 | 4554 characters      This map will crash your game. I'm somewhat spoiling the punchline, but I think this is very important to know up front. Falling into the green goo at the end of the map will crash the game with a "Sv_HullPointContent: bad node number". Knowing what I do about the author, Robootto, I think this is entirely intentional. Edit 8/8/2022: Shortly after this review the crash was fixed, the crash was not intentional.      The map starts off strong with a very nice equipment room, but the rest of the map is a hallway. There are a few branches to this hallway but before The

Tuukkekovajatka - GrandmasterJ

Image
      The map with the unpronounceable name is about a rocket ship. It kind of goes up but not all the way and it is very slow. SCMapDB page Author: Robootto Date of final release: 2004 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Tuukkekovajatka (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | May 30, 2022 | 1980 characters      I didn't know what to expect from the map with the unpronounceable name. What I got was a weird spawn point in some water that looks like hot lava but is totally safe and harmless. There is a glass partition in the middle of the room and a platform on the other side, swimming under the water can take you to the platform but you can not jump on top of it, the whole area is useless. Instead climb up the ladder.      Up the ladder is a flat white room with a very basic looking rocket. There is a room in the bottom of the rocket but there are no controls. Up a misaligned and non transparent ladder players can access a room in the top of the rocket, the button to go up is

Only Fun - GrandmasterJ

Image
      Only Fun contains zombies and a Big Momma and has little, if any, fun. The spawn points are also placed poorly causing players to die on spawn quite a lot. SCMapDB page Author: Robootto Date of final release: 2003 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Only Fun (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | April 23, 2022 | 2002 characters      Only Fun promises much, but delivers little.      There are three spawn areas in the map. At first my teammate and I both spawned in the top one, there was no indication on how to get out so we ran around hitting everything with our crowbars. Eventually the floor gave out and we fell to the level below, which happens to be where our second spawn point was. Here was a doorway to a green room with many headcrab zombies and a gonarch. The only weapons in the level are at the third spawn point, which is far above the elevator past a twisting passageway full of passive Barneys. The end of this hallway terminates at the top of the room the other two

Apache Battle - GrandmasterJ

Image
      Apache Battle is an arena map where players are expected to take down an Apache Helicopter.  There is nothing else to the map, take down the helicopter and another appears, forever. SCMapDB page Author: Mad Jonesy Date of final release: 1999 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Apache Battle (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | April 23, 2022 | 1798 characters      This map is an arena map where players fight Apache helicopters. This is not an uncommon idea but this particular execution felt incredibly lacking. I don't know if there is a missing .cfg file or if the original mapper intended for the players to only have the pistol to defend ourselves, but it sucked.      The map layout is simple, players start in a room with enough HEV batteries to fill up one player, good luck to everybody else. There are some unbreakable boxes in a corner and a ladder up to the roof and an even higher point with nothing on it and no cover. Two doors on buttons lead outside. Outside is

Spynzlersplatter - Dunkelschwamm

Image
       This is a one room map with infinitely spawning enemies coming down a slope. Really, never has a map screenshot encapsulated an entire gameplay experience more than the above. SCMapDB page Author: Robootto Date of final release: 2005 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Spynzlersplatter (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | April 17, 2022 | 1339 characters      Spynzlersplatter is a robootto map wherein players hunt respawning bullsquids, zombies, and headcrabs in the same sense that bowlers hunt bowling pins. The enemies appear on alcoves above a large inclined plane which they slide down if they leave their alcove (which they often do). Sliding down drops them into a hurt brush that'll kill them (or the player) dead. The players are given grenades to have fun with.      If you're into slaughter maps, maybe this will seem great to you. I think the enemies falling into an invisible hurt box and the player having so few choices for killing them really hurts its ef

Muumimalliset - GrandmasterJ

Image
      The author of this map,Robootto, is Finnish. Sticking the map name into Google translate spits out 'Muumin valley'. Google the terms, it's some interesting Finnish culture, too bad the map looks like a gravel pit. SCMapDB page Author: Robootto Date of final release: 2006 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Muumimaaliset (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | February 26, 2022 | 1126 characters      This map is a terrible looking arena with a monstrous looking thing that runs at players. It doesn't attack or if it does, it does no damage. It does frequently block players into corners and traps them there. It has a lot of health and killing it takes forever, when you do kill it nothing happens. There is a lot of ammo at the spawn area and some weapons behind the tower. Inside the tower is a teeny tiny elevator past some platforms with more weapons and ammo, and a weird blob thing that I later learned was a monster. To get down from the tower players have to j

Koti - Dunkelschwamm

Image
       This map has three rooms, a bedroom, a balcony/bathroom/closet area, and dark hallways that lead nowhere. The map description says as much. This map is very small. SCMapDB page Author: Robootto Date of final release: 2004 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Koti (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | January 22, 2022 | 1797 characters      koti is a map which seems to exist as only a showcase of a brushwork representation of a bedroom. Being that it is a Robootto map, it's weird as shit.      The bedroom itself is like the Twilight Zone- everything is off just a little. There's a ladder to a bunk over a computer desk, but there's not actually any bed up there. There's an alien looking game system, around which are game boxes for individual levels. I have never bought games one level at a time, but apparently that's how games work here. Also the ceiling light is this bizarre glittering cube with a glass cone sticking out of the bottom. The computer in

Indokiina - GrandmasterJ

Image
      This map set has two maps in it. One is a hallway with some rooms off to the side and the other is a room with some random junk scattered around. SCMapDB page Author: Robootto Date of final release: 2006 Maps in package: 2 Map review of Indokiina (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | January 9, 2022 | 2070 characters      There are two maps here and they are completely different. Reading the map description can easily lead you to believe that the maps are similar, but they really aren't. There are some textures both maps use but that is where the similarities end.      The first map, indokiina, is a hallway with four rooms on the right side. The first has a bunch of weapons and some zombies with Gina Cross models halfway through the floor. I play as Gina myself so I immediately killed them, there can be only one after all. There was also a poorly made toilet and simple rough bathtub with and HEV suit in it. Red water was haphazardly placed around in such a way that

Hyppyriz - Dunkelschwamm

Image
       One can be forgiven for looking at the above picture and thinking this might be a fun map to play. The map description is very clear, nothing in this map works. SCMapDB page Author: Robootto Date of final release: 2003 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Hyppyriz (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | January 7, 2022 | 1893 characters      Robootto is a mapper with many maps under his name which could be considered "test maps," "unfinished ideas," "scraps," and "absolute heaps of despair" depending on how honest you're feeling like being in the moment.     I was shocked, SHOCKED I say when I joined hyppyriz and thought that Robootto may have finally found a concept he couldn't possibly fuck up. Large ladders lead to diving boards into various pits of water of various sizes. Their individual sizes and positioning makes it so it may be a fun challenge with others on the server to attempt to aim for specific pools to dive into

Escalator Up - GrandmasterJ

Image
      Escalator up is a map focused around an escalator going up. There is an elevator at the end that takes players up to an assassin ambush. That's about it. SCMapDB page Author: Robootto Date of final release: 2004 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Escalator Up (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | December 30, 2021 | 663 characters      The escalator on this map actually works decently. That was a lot more than I expected. After the escalator is a long elevator trip to an ambush by assassins. There is a nonfunctional button to a map that doesn't exist and that is it.      Nice experiment, not very fun to play. Pros: The map delivered on an escalator Cons: The one section of combat was no fun the elevator ride and waiting for the elevator accounts for most playtime Score: 1 / 10

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - GrandmasterJ

Image
      Charlie and the Chocolate Factory shares its name with a movie and a book but not much else. The map is a large white courtyard surrounded by white buildings and only one path of seeming progression. SCMapDB page Author: Robootto Date of final release: 2005 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (originally posted on SCMapDB)  by GrandmasterJ | December 11, 2021 | 1511 characters      I accidentally had high hopes for this map. To say it didn't meet those expectations is a huge understatement.      The map is a big courtyard with a bunch of high powered weapons and a hive hand in the middle. This is the best part of the map because if nothing is going to be going on at least give the players some rockets. There is one enemy, a zombie, that respawns. It's not particularly tough and faces away from the player's approach so its very easy to kill.      The point of the map is to get up on top of the building, jump behind a gate, and then press

Alien Sex Fiend - GrandmasterJ

Image
      With a name like Alien Sex Fiend this map sounds like it would be a wild ride. It certainly does look weird and interesting but it's far less of a ride, much less a wild one, that you would think. SCMapDB page Author: Robootto Date of final release: 2004 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Alien Sex Fiend (originally posted on SCMapDB)  by GrandmasterJ | December 11, 2021 | 1607 characters      I'm going to level with you, I hate the ramp at the very beginning of the level so much that it is the sole reason I will not try to complete this map.      The map started and I was already getting attacked, not fun and not a good sign of level quality. It picked up considerably when I killed a bunch of bullsquids with snarks. But then the bullsquids were dead and I had to walk up a ramp to the next area. The ramp is just barely steep enough to climb, albeit very slowly. I kept thinking I had to take a running start or jumping, this is wrong. Just walk forward, as straight as you can

888 - GrandmasterJ

Image
      The author of this map has a reputation for making weird, bad, short maps. This particular map consists of one room. SCMapDB page Author: Robootto Date of final release: 2005 Maps in package: 1 Map review of 888 (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | December 5, 2021 | 1147 characters      This map is exactly what the description says, headcrabs spawn endlessly and you kill them.      While I do appreciate the variety of weapons around, I do not appreciate that the headcrabs have so much health. I'm dumping 80 rounds from my minigun to barely kill these things. My teammate and I were using RPGs to take them down. Headcrabs just aren't that fun of an enemy to fight endlessly and by ratcheting up their health we don't even get the satisfaction of gibbing them.      The level itself is ugly and boring.      This could have been done a lot better. If you want to fight endless headcrabs there is probably a better map and if there isn't I guarantee you can mak

28 Corp. - GrandmasterJ

Image
      28 Corp. is a map filled with stretched out cars and other dubious design choices. It's a map that tries to do a lot without much thought actually put into it. SCMapDB page Author: amckern Date of final release: 2003 Maps in package: 1 Map review of 28 Corp. (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | November 28, 2021 | 2156 characters      I don't much care for enemies in the player spawn. This map has enemies spawn in very large quantities right outside player spawn. At first I thought they were endless and I was completely over this map and wanted something new. But after some desperate struggling my teammate and I managed to kill them all. Spawn was safe after that but I came real close to cutting my losses and trying something new.      This map has ugly architecture and some horrendous looking cars in the front courtyard. There are some points that look ok, like the second floor office had believable looking vending machines. But from start to finish it had ju

Halloween Cemetery - GrandmasterJ

Image
      Halloween Cemetery is just one in a multitude of Halloween and horror themed maps by the author. This particular map is one of the more straightforward ones with a strong start but is hampered by some poor design choices near the end. SCMapDB page Author: GreenTea MiaoMiaoLe Date of final release: 2013 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Halloween Cemetery (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | November 28, 2021 | 2799 characters     This map was promising at first, and then got worse and worse as time went on.     The main problem with this map is the respawning enemies. The zombies use the Afraid of Monsters skins so they are very fast. They also have too much health. At first this was somewhat bearable, my teammate and I were progressing through the map simply by running by them. But then we unlocked what seems to be the last boss and suddenly we weren't spawning in our usual spawn point. We were spawning all over the map. The map was filled with high health ultra f