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Showing posts with the label nsfw

Boredgasm - Dunkelschwamm

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      This map is a visual as well as an architectural mishmash. Players must navigate the unusual level design and appearance to find giant floating blue orbs. Collecting ten out of twelve will end the map. SCMapDB page Author: Keen Date of release: 2012 Maps in package:1 Map review of Boredgasm (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | April 16, 2023 | 3390 characters      Boredgasm is a scaven ger hunt map where players search for some (not all) blue orb sprites in a dadaist maze of Keen's nightmares. Memes and internet randomcore plaster the walls in such a way as to evoke seizures if not properly con ditioned on multiple tabs of imageboards while mainlining adderall.      The maze is pretty wacky, with all of the intentionality of the Backrooms. Halls twist and turn, indents and apparent doors lead to nowhere (at least in our playthroughs) and occasionally lead to death traps. To assist in navigation, players are ...

Boredgasm - GrandmasterJ

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      This map is a visual as well as an architectural mishmash. Players must navigate the unusual level design and appearance to find giant floating blue orbs. Collecting ten out of twelve will end the map. SCMapDB page Author: Keen Date of release: 2012 Maps in package:1 Map review of Boredgasm (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | April 16, 2023 | 3211 characters      This map has a lot of author credits and is labelled as unfinished. Plus the main author, Keen, is known for his wacky mish mash of artstyles. The result is a crazy melange of twisty hallways, secret doors leading to secret areas, and some unique and tasteless art.      We start off more or less in the middle of the map, from the map description I know we have to look for blue orbs and press on Picard's face, but none of that is communicated in-map. We spent a good long time exploring all the crazy nooks and crannies and finding orbs before running out...

Big Penis - Dunkelschwamm

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      There really isn't any large male genitalia in this map. There is a small pixelated depiction of that but it's not the same. Besides that, hang out on a sandy island and hang out in the dance tent or hot tub. Edit: 2/20/2023: Shortly after we wrote our reviews, this map was removed from the database. The reason cited was the map's inclusion, in its entirety, in another map (Secret Lounge). Also the author credit is wrong. This review will be kept for posterity, including the incorrect author credit and broken link to a map page that no longer exists. SCMapDB page Author:Boxes Date of release:Unknown Maps in package: 1 Map review of Big Penis (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | February 11, 2023 | 1555 characters      Big Penis is a hangout map for Sven Co-op. It creates a quaint island setting complete with a jacuzzi, tent, porta potty, towel robot, boombox, torches, and campfire. The boombox inside of the tent, as well as a p...

Big Penis - GrandmasterJ

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      There really isn't any large male genitalia in this map. There is a small pixelated depiction of that but it's not the same. Besides that, hang out on a sandy island and hang out in the dance tent or hot tub. Edit: 2/20/2023: Shortly after we wrote our reviews, this map was removed from the database. The reason cited was the map's inclusion, in its entirety, in another map (Secret Lounge). Also the author credit is wrong. This review will be kept for posterity, including the incorrect author credit and broken link to a map page that no longer exists.  SCMapDB page Author: Boxes Date of release: Unknown Maps in package: 1 Map review of Big Penis (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | February 11, 2023 | 1714 characters      For everybody looking for a big penis in this map, sorry to break the news like this, but there isn't any. The map description does warn of a porn room but it's weird old man penis. Anyway, the whole map is...

Satanic Dark Wrath Castle - Dunkelschwamm

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       Welcome to the most evil map of Sven Co-op. Enter the big chompy mouth and then attempt to explore. SCMapDB page Author: Robootto Date of final release: 2005 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Satanic Dark Wrath Castle (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | October 9, 2022 | 1673 characters      Satanic Dark Wrath Castle is a map by robootto to, I presume, show off some esoteric brushwork ideas. The map begins with the players outside of the titular castle, which is entered either through a chomper trap front door or a higher up entrance that players ascent blocks to reach. Once inside, the map is dark save for some intense colored lighting and some strobes. The inside and the outside of the castle, alike, are mostly nonsensical structures which are a bit interesting to look at, the way geometric shapes tend to be from time to time, but drenched in eye-searing strobe.      Players can find doors that open to the word "Hel...

Satanic Dark Wrath Castle - GrandmasterJ

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      Welcome to the most evil map of Sven Co-op. Enter the big chompy mouth and then attempt to explore. SCMapDB page Author: Robootto Date of final release: 2005 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Satanic Dark Wrath Castle (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | October 9, 2022 | 3237 characters      This is a satanic map, I can tell because at one point I opened a room that had the word 'Hell' written out in very long 3D block lettering and above it, on the back wall, was the phrase 'satanic map'. This is definitely the most evil map of all Sven, only a monster would place player weapons individually in vats of opaque water.      Players spawn in a small courtyard, with the aforementioned vats of water each containing a weapon. There are two doors here, one is locked and I don't know how to open it. The other is a mouth with sharp spikes that absolutely will chomp on players attempted to get past it. Fret not because there is a smal...

Anitalink Lobby - Dunkelschwamm

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       This is a lobby map made for a specific server. Since the map is made for a group of people who all know each other there are probably a lot of features that my teammate and I won't get. SCMapDB page Author: Keen Date of final release: 2016 Maps in package: 2 Map review of Anitalink Lobby (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | March 27, 2022 | 3319 characters      Anitalink Lobby is a meme playground from Sven Co-op memester Keen as well as @nit@ and w00tguy123. Whenever you want to experience 2010's 4chan memes through a 2016 lens, Anitalink has you covered. The mappers comes at us hard and fast with John Cena, Carl Sagan, furry porn, people porn, MLP porn, pepe the frog porn, and a couple disposable joke memes. I don't want to say that the mappers are in it for the porn, but the supposedly safe-for-work version seems to only be able to recover from replacing all its porn by repeating a bunch of Carl Sagan images instead- and there's...

Anitalink Lobby - GrandmasterJ

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      This is a lobby map made for a specific server. Since the map is made for a group of people who all know each other there are probably a lot of features that my teammate and I won't get. SCMapDB page Author: Keen Date of final release: 2016 Maps in package: 2 Map review of Anitalink Lobby (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | March 27, 2022 | 4357 characters      I was really dreading playing this map, I've played the 4chan and 5chan maps by the same author which is a mish mash of random stuff thrown together in a fever dream. This map is less fever dream but still looks like a scrapbooking club threw up. There are two maps here, the map description says one contains some stuff not safe for work, this is somewhat misleading, as both maps contain pornography but the wow map has a lot of it and the arcade map does not. The two maps do not seem to be much different beyond that.      Players start in a big open area with some cub...

Adam's Puzzles - Dunkelschwamm

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       There aren't really any puzzles in this map. The map is all about answering trivia questions. Each room has at least four paths to go and only the one labelled with the answer will allow the player through unharmed. SCMapDB page Author: Adambean Date of final release: 2009 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Adam's Puzzles (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | January 29, 2022 | 4345 characters      Adam's Puzzles is a cute high-concept server map, where the concept is multiple choice questions. Room after room, players are treated to an interesting vignette setting and a multiple choice question. By choosing one of the doors, you seal your fate- you either chose correctly and continue to the next question, or you chose incorrectly and fall into a certain death trap. It's very straight-forward in its concept. For winning, players are treated to a lounge area with security cameras for watching other players struggle with answers, a swimm...

Adam's Puzzles - GrandmasterJ

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      There aren't really any puzzles in this map. The map is all about answering trivia questions. Each room has at least four paths to go and only the one labelled with the answer will allow the player through unharmed. SCMapDB page Author: Adambean Date of final release: 2009 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Adam's Puzzles (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | January 29, 2022 | 4026 characters      The map description reads 'inspired by 5 Ways to Die', this is a map where the player is given five forks and must choose the path that doesn't kill them. This map is that concept, but instead of randomly picking a path there are questions the players must answer. The map is called Adam's Puzzles, but its really just Adam's quiz.      Most of the questions could be solved by a quick google, the last question was a large math problem that both my teammate and I agree the correct answer in the map has a typo that makes it incorrect. Th...

Deth - Dunkelschwamm

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       Deth is a very early Half-Life mod made in 1999. The map description states this is the author's first map and it shows. It's also got a highly topical picture of Bill Clinton with Monica Lewinsky. SCMapDB page Original mod authors: DETH Conversion authors: w00tguy123 Date of original mod release: 1999 Date of final Sven Map release: 2019 Maps in package: 2 Map review of Deth (originally posted on SCMapDB)  by dunkelschwamm | December 30, 2021 | 1860 characters      Deth is a very early map for Sven and apparently the first by its author. I wouldn't go as far as to say that it isn't obvious from the result that this map is by a beginner, but I will say that for a beginner's map it's not terrible. Worth playing, though? Well, let's hash that out.      The map begins with a series of rooms which are oddly proportioned and lightly sprinkled with some push-over enemies. Poor brushwork and misaligned textures barely convey a real ...

Deth - GrandmasterJ

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      Deth is a very early Half-Life mod made in 1999. The map description states this is the author's first map and it shows. It's also got a highly topical picture of Bill Clinton with Monica Lewinsky. SCMapDB page Original mod authors: DETH Conversion authors: w00tguy123 Date of original mod release: 1999 Date of final Sven Map release: 2019 Maps in package: 2 Map review of Deth (originally posted on SCMapDB)  by GrandmasterJ | December 31, 2021 | 2090 characters      This map is one of the first non-official release maps on scmapdb. I never expect much from old maps because the whole scene was still new, this one was a decent enough attempt at a first map.      The map doesn't look great first of all. The spawn room has some enemies in there so players spawn in having to deal with that. Plus the textures used for was not scaled in a way that looks good. The carpet was a texture with a big logo on it that tiled in a patter that didn't...

5chan - Dunkelschwamm

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      5chan is very similar to the maps I used to make (and abandoned halfway through) when I was a younger, smaller version of myself. It's a crazy patchwork of sights and sounds with all sorts of strange things to look at. SCMapDB page Author: Keen Date of final release: 2016 Maps in package: 1 Map review of 5chan (originally posted on SCMapDB)  by dunkelschwamm | December 5, 2021 | 3143 characters      5chan is a map which evokes imageboard aesthetics and moods from 10 years ago via memes, smut, and uncomfortable level design. If you aren't on board from the beginning with straight-up pornography being present you may find yourself needing a moment of adjustment.      The map sets itself up as a scavenger hunt within a large surreal environment with walls made out of memes and smut. I don't want to be the one to say it, but some of it is so specific that it starts to feel like "Oh, this guy's into something. Alright." I guess that's k...

5chan - GrandmasterJ

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      5chan is very similar to the maps I used to make (and abandoned halfway through) when I was a younger, smaller version of myself. It's a crazy patchwork of sights and sounds with all sorts of strange things to look at. SCMapDB page Author: Keen Date of final release: 2016 Maps in package: 1 Map review of 5chan (originally posted on SCMapDB)  by GrandmasterJ | December 5, 2021 | 2991 characters      I didn't really know what to expect from this map. I played it after the 4chan gasworks map, and just like that map the strange novelty wears off all too soon. Also, this map is labelled as abandoned, I am going to review it like it is complete because it is on this site listed as a map and if it wasn't fit to be played it wouldn't be here.      I was pleased to see enemies in this map, I thought maybe this would be a map with actual objectives and gameplay. Well, I barely got to interact with the enemies because the numerous allies scat...

24-hour map (The Suggestion Map) - Dunkelschwamm

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      This map was an unusual theme, all features were crowd-sourced suggestions. Despite the name, this map was not made in 24 hours, every 24 hours the author, Keen, would implement a fan suggestion. The result is about as cohesive as you would think. SCMapDB Page Author: Keen Date of final release: 2016 Maps in package: 1 Map review of 24 hour map (The Suggestion Map) (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | November 28, 2021 | 2465 characters      I don't know if I got all of the secrets in this. I probably didn't. I played about to a point where I didn't have any desire to continue searching, though.      So, my understanding is that this map was made with a sort of community challenge gimmick in mind where rooms were created in a day using community input to guide the contents. To that end, the chaotic dadaist design of the map makes a bit more sense, often featuring consistent and well-delivered executions of baffling nonsequi...

24-hour map (The Suggestion Map) - GrandmasterJ

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    This map was an unusual theme, all features were crowd-sourced suggestions. Despite the name, this map was not made in 24 hours, every 24 hours the author, Keen, would implement a fan suggestion. The result is about as cohesive as you would think. SCMapDB Page Author: Keen Date of final release: 2016 Maps in package: 1 Map review of 24 hour map (The Suggestion Map) (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | November 28, 2021 | 2922 characters      I didn't really know what to expect from a map made from suggestions in a 24 hour period. After reflection I don't think it was very good.      The front door to exit spawn opens from one side and you have to use a vent to go around it. This would be fine but the button for the door (which needs to be hit to activate) will reset and the door will close. Which means that unless somebody is on the other side of the door you have to keep using the vent to go around. You can push an ally into the d...