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The Absolute State of this Blog

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   I'm a big fan of Sven Co-op, so much so that I was only half joking when I presented the terrible idea of playing and reviewing every map to my partner in crime, Dunkelschwamm. Much to my surprise she agreed and now here we are, 371 maps in to the 1558 maps currently on the Sven Co-op map database . It was done primarily to get people to stop leaving reviews in the comments and to actually put them in the review section. Let me just check the reviews on the map database. . . . yeah, I think it sort of worked. Then we got nervous that wikidot might die and take the site with it so I created this blog as a mirror.      Dunkel was unemployed at the time and my fiancé still had tons of patience for me so it went swimmingly, I think we averaged something like 15 reviews a week. I did the math but circumstances keep changing and so do the numbers, so that's a very rough estimate. We both dabbled in making maps for Sven long ago when the game was relevant and popular but never rele

Ck Osprey - Dunkelschwamm

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       A fairly standard horde map with an Osprey, not the monster that drops off endless supplies of soldiers but a big driveable func_vehicle Osprey. Fly around the battlefield and shoot soldiers. SCMapDB page Authors: CkDead Date of release: ???? Maps in package: 1 Map review of Ck Osprey (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | January 7, 2024 | 2683 characters      CK Osprey is a horde map wherein you face many respawning HECU grunts in a desert arena segmented by big rock formations. Players spawn in a partitioned helipad in the corner of the map, where they can drive and ride an osprey over the desert arena. Alternatively, players can enter a garage to drive a truck around to attack from. Alternatively alternatively, players can climb up onto overlooking towers to fire down on the respawning enemies. This continues endlessly until either the map's time runs out or somebody votemaps.      This mostly works out, especially thanks to the arsenal players are granted in

Ck Osprey - GrandmasterJ

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      A fairly standard horde map with an Osprey, not the monster that drops off endless supplies of soldiers but a big driveable func_vehicle Osprey. Fly around the battlefield and shoot soldiers. SCMapDB page Authors: CkDead Date of release: ???? Maps in package: 1 Map review of Ck Osprey (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | January 7, 2024 | 1797 characters      This is a fairly simple horde map, players get a little fortress with plenty of supplies and a big drivable Osprey we can use to fly over a battlefield of infinite human grunts. There is a sentry gun that overlooks spawn and it will absolutely shoot players the moment they appear, but there's only one and it had a reasonable amount of health. Underbarrel grenades with M16s, crossbows, grenades, and an mp5 lay on the ground to help players kill the grunts. I much prefer the crossbow. There was also a turret on top of a tower but I didn't interact with it much.      The real stars of this map are the func_v

Civil Defence - Dunkelschwamm

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       Kill a bunch of soldiers and aliens in some generic warehouses and offices somewhere in a red brick city. It's a pretty straightforward map that requires at least two people. SCMapDB page Authors: Daniel Plant Date of release: 2004 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Civil Defence (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | January 7, 2024 | 3588 characters      Civil Defence is a very simple sequence of gunfighting arenas in a warehouse district setting. Players fight their way out of a building by escaping along its fire escape, then through the district, before moving through a sewers area to the final battle. The first third of the map sees players fighting blackops grunts and assassins, before things take a sudden shift and see the players fighting an odd combination of vortigaunts, gonomes, and shock troopers (with a few itchyosaurs, and eventually a voltigore, thrown into the mix).      The battles in this are intense. Without a third player, we found that approach

Civil Defence - GrandmasterJ

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      Kill a bunch of soldiers and aliens in some generic warehouses and offices somewhere in a red brick city. It's a pretty straightforward map that requires at least two people. SCMapDB page Authors: Daniel Plant Date of release: 2004 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Civil Defence (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | January 7, 2024 | 1418 characters      Players fight their way out of an high rise, onto the streets, through some sewers, then back onto the streets. It's soldiers at first but then suddenly aliens start to appear. Progressing in the map is rewarded with enemies spawning in already cleared out areas, so respawning is fun.      Combat sections typically consist of arenas or hallways that enemies can flood into. They don't have crazy high amounts of health and we can generally gun them down pretty fast, but when we have to fight male assassins with snipers and M16s with grenades it gets tricky. There is HEV scattered around the map, along with oth

Dark Seekers - Dunkelschwamm

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       Inspired by 'I am Legend' players fight the eponymous Dark Seekers in an abandoned city. Solve puzzles, find a way to escape, and beware the large amounts of high health enemies! SCMapDB page Authors: Goanna Date of release: 2008 Maps in package: 2 Map review of Dark Seekers (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | January 7, 2024 | 4838 characters      Dark Seekers is a duo of horror maps based loosely on the I Am Legend scenario. In the first map you search buildings to find necessary items to solve puzzles while being harassed by the titular dark seekers- zombies which run and take quite a bit of damage to kill. The second map takes the players through a dark seeker infested subway tunnel, until they surface into a warzone where hostile soldiers battle dark seekers in the streets. Both maps are very different in gameplay tone, but manage to feel appropriate together in atmosphere and theme.      The first map is slow in pace, with players being forced to slow

Dark Seekers - GrandmasterJ

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      Inspired by 'I am Legend' players fight the eponymous Dark Seekers in an abandoned city. Solve puzzles, find a way to escape, and beware the large amounts of high health enemies! SCMapDB page Authors: Goanna Date of release: 2008 Maps in package: 2 Map review of Dark Seekers (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | January 7, 2024 | 3574 characters      The short version is that we fight a bunch of fast zombies in spooky derelict city and subway levels. The eponymous Dark Seekers are inspired by the vampire things in I Am Legend and they definitely do resemble the things I saw in the movie, bald, pale, and fast. A big list of objectives is at the start of each map and it is immensely helpful as both maps are pretty big and it can be a pain figuring out where to go.      We start off in a city and on our first steps forward we find the dark seekers, all sitting on the ground and as one they turn their heads and rise to their feet. Each one has 250 health so then it

Sveney Christmas - Dunkelschwamm

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        There are not a whole lot of options for Christmas themed Sven maps. Step into the shoes of Santa and drop presents (grenades) down the chimneys of the good children. SCMapDB page Authors: CubicVirtuoso Date of release: 2007 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Sveney Christmas (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | December 17, 2023 | 1918 characters      For a map made in two hours, this is a pretty complete idea. Players take grenades, fly around on a sleigh with train controls, and chuck the nades into 8 chimneys to complete the sequence. Each chimney is fairly easy to hit if you pull the sleigh up nice and close and take a couple throws to adjust aim. If you miss a bunch, don't worry, you can just fly your sleigh back to the cloud where you picked up your grenades.      The map has an effective aesthetic. The sleigh looks good, the cloud platform is perfectly functional, I think the street lamps on the cloud highlighting the grenade tables is a nice touch, and t

Sveney Christmas - GrandmasterJ

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      There are not a whole lot of options for Christmas themed Sven maps. Step into the shoes of Santa and drop presents (grenades) down the chimneys of the good children. SCMapDB page Authors: CubicVirtuoso Date of release: 2007 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Sveney Christmas (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | December 17, 2023 | 1642 characters      Well it's that time of year again, at least it was when I wrote this, and that means it's time for Christmas. This fun holiday map has us riding around in Saint Nick's little cart thing and delivering presents to the children, and by that I mean grenades. The map description says it was made in only two hours and the result is a very short and fun map.      When we were almost at the end of blowing these poor children to kingdom come my teammate suddenly realized that we weren't getting any score for this, I feel like that would have been a big improvement and give the map more of a reason to exist besides

The Tomb of Death - Dunkelschwamm

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       Welcome to the Tomb of Death, where you will die a lot. The map has a heavy emphasis on traps and each trap is a unique delight, which is not usually how trap themed Sven maps usually feel. SCMapDB page Authors: generic Date of release: 2008 Maps in package: 6 Map review of The Tomb of Death (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | December 16, 2023 | 6784 characters      Tomb of Death! I remember playing this a long time ago and thinking it was kind of clunky and mediocre. Boy, am I glad I revisited it! This mapset captures a lot of the spirit of what I love about Sven Co-op, and is a truly inspiring exercise in creativity.      This mapset is long, so I'm going to go down the maps one by one and give overall impressions.      The first map gives a lot of what the title implies: a tomb full of fun traps and monster teases. There's a couple puzzle-like areas, including a platforming bit over some toxic sand that I was not a fan of. I mention that right out the g

The Tomb of Death - GrandmasterJ

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      Welcome to the Tomb of Death, where you will die a lot. The map has a heavy emphasis on traps and each trap is a unique delight, which is not usually how trap themed Sven maps usually feel. SCMapDB page Authors: generic Date of release: 2008 Maps in package: 6 Map review of The Tomb of Death (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | December 16, 2023 | 5082 characters      The Tomb of Death is a very fun and cheeky map where players go through lots and lots of hallways. We get a token story attached and told through the messages of the day, there are six maps by the way. We encounter some really faint beams of light that trigger traps and at first we were doing our best to avoid them, but then we hit a point where we see a trap that has already been sprung and we try springing a trap ourselves. The vast majority of traps are one time only, we get to see a brick in the wall dissolve and then projectiles fly out and get stuck in the wall. It is really fun until we trigger a

City Rush - Dunkelschwamm

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      Drop into a blocky city and start killing hordes of monsters. Eventually through some arcane invocations (breaking the right stuff) the enemies will cease to appear. SCMapDB page Authors: Agent Zero the Koraa Hunter Date of release: 2018 Maps in package: 1 Map review of City Rush (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | October 16, 2023 | 4583 characters      City Rush is a horde map set in a modestly mapped block town. Much of the map is spent wandering around wondering whether you're doing the right thing to make the map proceed.      You could say the map is broken up into two acts: the first is getting to know the map as it is desolate save for players. There are three buildings of interest at any given time: a building at the start with your starting weapons and a small table full of ammo (impossible to not be a greedy grabber here on more populated maps), an armory with extremely durable windows which must be shattered to enter, and a skyscraper at the edge of

City Rush - GrandmasterJ

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    Drop into a blocky city and start killing hordes of monsters. Eventually through some arcane invocations (breaking the right stuff) the enemies will cease to appear. SCMapDB page Authors: Agent Zero the Koraa Hunter Date of release: 2018 Maps in package: 1 Map review of City Rush (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | October 16, 2023 | 3543 characters      City Rush is a map that focuses heavily on a zombie horde, of the too-much-health variety. The map explicitly tells us to break a window and it takes a lot of damage and we were doubting what the map was telling us. But an early word of advice, keep hitting those windows. After that we faced a huge swarm of enemies that eventually petered out.      On map start my teammate and I ran in different directions, he tripped a cutscene that I had to watch and then shortly after I tripped a cutscene that he had to watch. I'm glad these scenes are over quickly and before zombies get here because that would be the worst duri

City of the Dead - Dunkelschwamm

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       Fight waves of zombies in a city themed arena. The map description makes it seem like fighting waves of zombies is all that happens but there is a nice exploration aspect as well. SCMapDB page Authors: Searanger, EdisLeado Date of release: 2007 Maps in package: 1 Map review of City of the Dead (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | October 16, 2023 | 4960 characters      City of the Dead is a zombie map wherein the goal is to escape using a helipad. To do so, you must explore a city block full of explorable buildings locked off by various obstacles.      The map begins players in a spawn armory where players can take their pick of beginning weaponry or ammo. Right from the start the map's clunkiness, which is a theme throughout, becomes apparent. Grabbing ammo or a weapon will immediately chuck players into the map proper, so if you grabbed ammo, you're a sucker. There are weapons to be found throughout the map, but they do not respawn (with the exception of g

City of the Dead - GrandmasterJ

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      Fight waves of zombies in a city themed arena. The map description makes it seem like fighting waves of zombies is all that happens but there is a nice exploration aspect as well. SCMapDB page Authors: Searanger, EdisLeado Date of release: 2007 Maps in package: 1 Map review of City of the Dead (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | October 16, 2023 | 3192 characters      I wanted to play a scary map for October and I thought a zombie horde would fit the bill. Instead of meeting a brain dead map with a wad of zombies in an arena I was met with a small facsimile of a town with strategically placed weapons and ammo. In the second half of the map I was really scared of running out of ammo, that is the true horror.      The game starts us off in a pure white hallway that is really blinding. Then we have white text that tells us how many seconds until the round starts, it is almost impossible to see. Go through a doorway to end up in a spawn room, health and HEV along with a

Central Bunker Remake - Dunkelschwamm

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       This is, of course, a remake of another map by the same name. While it does offer many improvements over the original it also has an unfortunate area that we had to cheat past. SCMapDB page Author: GiGaBiTe Date of release: 2016 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Central Bunker Remake (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | October 9, 2023 | 4758 characters      Central Bunker: Remake is a ground-up remake of Central Bunker, which we have previously reviewed. How does this hold up?      This plays almost exactly like I remember Central Bunker playing, but without the lag. The short narrative of gameplay is: you start outside, with far too few weapons and ammo fight your way through a lobby full of Barnabus/Ottos and ceiling turrets, grab some new weapons, go down an obnoxious elevator, fight a great battle with aliens and grunts beside an electrified pool of water, work your way through many more grunts until you find a big railway bunker full of shock troopers and pit d

Central Bunker Remake - GrandmasterJ

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      This is, of course, a remake of another map by the same name. While it does offer many improvements over the original it also has an unfortunate area that we had to cheat past. SCMapDB page Author: GiGaBiTe Date of release: 2016 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Central Bunker Remake (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | October 9, 2023 | 1537 characters      The remake of the original Central Bunker does indeed offer much improved optimization and visuals. The map looks great. I didn't see a whole lot of difference in the gameplay, but I did see a much better offering of supplies. I liked the original but rated it a 5 mostly because I thought this one would make it obsolete. But unfortunately there was a section in this map where we had to get past a fan that would inevitably pull us in and turn us to paste. My teammate even looked up a review where the player eventually noclipped past that point, something we had to resort to as well.      I will say that the map

Crood Coop - Dunkelschwamm

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       This is a nice looking map with a mixture of combat, platforming, and puzzles. A lot of the map looks well done and then there are some spots where enemies just get dumped in the level and one terrible platforming section. SCMapDB page Author: Headz Date of release: 2003 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Crood Coop (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | August 19, 2023 | 3791 characters      Crood Coop is, apparently, in its fifth alpha as of 20 years ago if the splash screen is to be believed. I wonder if Headz'll ever finish it. It's a walkthrough action/puzzle map, with a heavy emphasis on action.      Rooms are shaped in large, nonsensical ways, which interacts well with the lighting and textures. However, I can't help but wonder if these interesting textures and scrolling electricity brushes and sprites are doing heavy lifting for what feels like mostly room after room of big-open spaces full of monsters. Most of the combat in the map is just in big cu

Crood Coop - GrandmasterJ

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      This is a nice looking map with a mixture of combat, platforming, and puzzles. A lot of the map looks well done and then there are some spots where enemies just get dumped in the level and one terrible platforming section. SCMapDB page Author: Headz Date of release: 2003 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Crood Coop (originally posted on SCMapDB) by GrandmasterJ | August 19, 2023 | 4582 characters      This is a fun map with really nice visuals, lots of explosives, and monsters with a lot of health. There are also some interesting puzzles and lots and lots of walking.      We start in a room with a turret, the map slowly fades in and we get to hear the turret deploy and target us. We are shot before we can really see or do anything and if I was alone that fight would have been ten times harder and more frustrating. We get a shotgun here and enough shells and 9mm to supply one player fully, leaving one of us to wait for it to all respawn. Then we have to fall down a shaft and take f

Coldburn - Dunkelschwamm

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       The main feature of Coldburn is that it is so cold it burns and players will take environmental damage in certain areas. I didn't think this mechanic would be fun but the author definitely put a lot of thought into it and made it work really well. SCMapDB page Author: Keen Date of release: 2014 Maps in package: 1 Map review of Coldburn (originally posted on SCMapDB) by dunkelschwamm | August 14, 2023 | 3315 characters      Coldburn is a total conversion style walkthrough map for Sven Co-op. Players are tasked with plunging the depths of a base atop a Neptunian moon, plunging ever deeper into hostile environments as their HEV is the only temporary barrier keeping players from rapidly deteriorating under cold and radiation threat. To make matters worse, bizarre monsters stalk the players through the facility.      First thing you'll notice about the map is that it nails the environment and atmosphere. Lighting is moody, the fog is effective, and the sprites of little cloud